"Remembrance, the Lasting Perfume."

I know death like the lines the reach across my palm: seldom looked upon, though always with me.

How can one remember every single loved one that has passed on since his birth? Death is an inevitable and inescapable fate for all. Who is to say that one's death is less significant than another? That's why I am honoring them all.

*

I'm not one that favors an abundance of tattoos, and I never really understood  the beauty of them until last year. Most of the tattoos I had seen beforehand were somewhat silly. My father has his name on his shoulder, and many of my classmates have stars or flowers tattoos in rather provocative locations. 

*

Joshua saved up for a tattoo in remembrance of his grandfather for several months. Clyde died when Josh was six years old, and was one of the most impactful forces in his life. The moment that I first saw it, I knew that it was a work of art. Joshua even claims to this day that he feels the occasional sensation where the tattoo is located: a touch of heat, a slight tingle, a rush of chills. 

*

During my senior year of high school, I knew that I wanted a memorial tattoo. However, I did not know who had been "most important" in my life to dedicate a patch of ink on my body.

Death has been a great part of my life, and I have lost a lot of dear ones in my childhood. I had no idea were to start. At one point, I researched memorial tattoos for hours on end, trying to come up with a fresh idea. I eventually gave up and settled for a rather clique dove tattoo.

Months passed, then in the summer of 2010 until the winter of 2011, my family was struck with seven deaths, four of which resulted in two double funerals. None of the deaths occurred simultaneously; most were the result of natural causes. The horrific car accident that stole my cousin's life was the final and most alarming wake up call my family received.

*

Talking on the phone with Joshua one night, the idea finally came to me. I wanted a dove tattoo, alright, but it wasn't going to have the classic "white dove, olive branch in the beak" design. I began brainstorming symbolic components the tattoo could possess in order to set it apart from others and truly make it my own.

In the end, I decided that the dove's feathers will have a light blue tinge; the body would be in mid-flight. The dove will hold rosemary in its beak, signifying remembrance.

In the dove's talons will be a bundle of forget-me-nots and poppies, symbolizing the many memories that are lost to the wind, carried up and out alongside death itself. 

Finally, the quote, "Remembrance, the lasting perfume" will be written in script beneath the dove. The flowers may rest a garbage bag, piles of dirt and dust being poured over top. Yet, the scent, light and fresh, still lingers in the air and takes one back in time, offering a sort of peace.

*

I'll wear the pains of my past, preservers of the present, and my hopes for the future inside my right shoe beneath a layer of soft, white cotton. I'll carry them with me in every step I take, for the rest of my days.