"I'm So Heavy. Heavy In Your Arms"

My mind is in pieces, like scraps of fabric, fluff, and string strayed across the living room floor, left over from a ripped-to-shreds chew toy.

"My beloved was weighed down. My arms around his neck, my fingers laced to crown."

My eyes are scorched. Flames of smoldering heat consume my lashes, and burn them one by one, staining my lids ashy black and replacing my vision with a thick, cloud of smoke.

"I was a heavy heart to carry, my feet dragged across ground. And he took me to the river, where he slowly let me drown."

My heart is flooding, like a violent river pounded with a constant, steady rain. It's tears drift up and out, across tired, muddy banks caked with lifeless sticks and cold, stones, dragging them into its depths, never to see the light of day again.

"My love has concrete feet, my love's an iron ball, wrapped around your ankles over the waterfall."

My hope has vanished. A snowflake lands amidst a boiling, sea of grass, the liquid streaming down a single blade, evaporating instantly once kissing the bubbling, Midwest dirt.

"Who is the betrayer? Who's the killer in the crowd? The one who creeps in corridors, and doesn't make a sound."

My faith is tested. I reach my arms into the damp, April sky and scream up to the clouds. "Lord, take me! Take me into your arms!" I fall onto a patch of cold, moist graveyard, consumed by the buzz of hungry mosquitoes and a chorus of twilight crickets. I gaze into a nearby tombstone, Mary Thatcher, and pray to God you will not join her. I'm not ready to live without you.

"I'm so heavy, heavy in your arms. Whispering like it's a secret, only to condemn the one who hears it."